This album was difficult to produce, to say the least. I started in August 2016, when I finally made a track that I thought sounded good enough for an album. That track, the first one I completed, was Ragdoll Iceberg.
Sometimes I would crank out two tracks in a week. Sometimes I wouldn't make even a tiny bit of progress on any track for an entire month. I wanted to release it in May 2017, but then I made half of the album in August 2016, so I thought maybe I could release it in January. But then I didn't make any music for a long time. My mental climate morphed wildly over several months, and I bounced from not wanting to do anything, to doing a lot of things all at once.
I've never sang this much on an album before. At least, not on songs where the words are this intelligible. This is the most experimental thing I've ever done. This album is also incredibly dark. There are stories behind a few of these songs that only I know, and the only person who will ever know them is me. This is what my mind sounds like. The album was originally going to be called T.S (which would've stood for Theatrical Suicide) but I changed the name while listening to the song 'Terminal' by Holly Herndon. Everything around the word 'terminal' was dark and/or scary. Airport terminals. Terminal sedation. If you're terminal, you're about to die. Computer terminals play into it too, since the whole album is very digital. The word encapsulated everything the album is about.
I don't know what I'm going to do after this. Maybe I'll take a hiatus. I'd like to get more people involved in the Virtual Blaze project. I'm not sure. But I'll see you all around.
I love you.
-VB (Finn Baker)
released March 17, 2017
Thank you to Nathan Smith, for providing feedback on almost every track, being my closest companion throughout the entirety of production, and assisting with the back cover artwork for the album.
Thank you to Eve Staab, who also gave me feedback on various tracks.
Thank you to everyone who lent vocal samples (including Eve) to be scattered throughout all the tracks.
Thank you to Sierra Molina, who kept me happy while I was producing. The emotions you gave me fueled the majority of this album.
Thank you to everyone who said little, although memorable phrases that ended up being used as song titles (I Like This You, Strong/Silent, One With The Snow, Little Space).
Thank you to my mother, who wrote I'll Take Care Of You.
Thank you to Animal Collective, who inspired a lot of the elements on this album.
R.I.P Jim Wallis, who passed away on February 19th, 2017.
Steer, but far too slow.
You're here, joining me,
too near to coming undone.
Still, I feel okay.
You're shrill, but by my side.
Spill our pints of blood.
Instill into the high tide.
Unmask my truest form.
My glass you keep half full.
No fear to stray from the center.
Stay here, don't make me pull.
Track Name: I'll Take Care Of You
I know I was not around much
but I'm here beside you now.
I should have helped you out then
but I just did not know how.
I know you're missing Daddy
and I will miss him too.
Don't you worry, Mama.
I'll take care of you.
I know you're hurting deep inside.
I've seen the tears that you have cried.
You never thought about him leaving
and now you go on grieving
but take my hand, I will be your guide.
I hate to see you in this pain.
I know you never will complain.
You never thought he'd go away
and you miss him every day.
Just his memory remains.
You've taken care of me
but it's time for you to rest.
I'll do everything for you now
and I'll always do my best.
Just wait and you will see.
Don't think you're on your own
'cause you'll never be alone.
You can always count on me.
"I'm being pulled in a new direction, and I think I like it. I think I like it."